{"id":3101,"date":"2013-06-27T12:24:07","date_gmt":"2013-06-27T12:24:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101"},"modified":"2013-06-27T21:04:21","modified_gmt":"2013-06-27T21:04:21","slug":"post-haste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101","title":{"rendered":"Post haste"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Parquet<\/a>

Parquet Courts delivered. Sadly, the Post Office didn’t.<\/p><\/div>\n

Represent<\/i>\u00a0is about the painting life. It says so up there on the banner. As of today, it\u2019s also about shipping, which is a crucial part of the painting life (if you care to show your work to other people in a public way.) Mostly, over the past two years, I\u2019ve been writing about the painting part, and not much about the life. So I\u2019m going to correct that with a lesson on how\u00a0not<\/i>\u00a0to attempt something absolutely essential to this pursuit: frugality. It\u2019s always a good idea, in any field, to spend as little as possible, but especially as an artist. With that in mind, it would seem a no-brainer that I shouldn\u2019t vacation in, say, Palm Springs. Or play golf. (Or visit New York City for that matter. You know how much parking costs in Manhattan? I don’t have the heart to tell you.) But if both your kids live and work in L.A., and you get to see them once a year when they come home for Christmas, going to L.A. for a week in the summer is the best option. This is because it\u2019s exceedingly hot in the desert in July, when rounds of golf and rental homes are as inexpensive as they ever get there. During July, it would cost more to golf at many public courses here in Rochester.<\/p>\n

So we save up my wife\u2019s earnings from teaching second grade, and we spend a week with our kids in Palm Springs (much less expensive, actually, than staying virtually anywhere closer to L.A. itself), during one of the hottest weeks of the year. A round of 18 holes at Indian Canyons Golf, where my son Matthew and my son-in-law, John Bridge, and I will be playing every morning during our annual week in Palm Springs, costs $45 for eighteen holes, per player, unless you buy a summer discount card for a one-time fee of $65, which lowers the greens fees to $30 per person, every day, for the six days we play. A couple hundred dollars of savings! Beautiful. I\u2019m a painter so, as you know, I can find the beauty in many things, \u00a0including a vacation where the daily high will be 115.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to the subject of the U.S. Postal Service. I know, that\u2019s a pretty bumpy transition, but it will make sense if you stay with me. Every year I ship my clubs to L.A. ahead of my trip, to save several hundred dollars it would cost if I rented a set while I\u2019m there. So, as an attempt to save money, yet again, well in advance of our arrival, I mailed my clubs to Matthew, at his workplace, Seismic Productions, where he creates film trailers in West Hollywood. Yes,\u00a0mailed<\/i>. I didn\u2019t ship them. A bold move, yet I\u2019ve done it before and it\u2019s worked out. I avoided UPS this year, which I rely on faithfully to send all my paintings to shows because this spring UPS charged me around $350 to deliver a semi-large still life to the Butler Institute of Art, where it\u2019s currently on exhibit. I didn\u2019t want to find out what it would cost to ship the clubs that way, and standard mail cost me only $44 to deliver the clubs in a week. Brilliant! In the process, I discovered that everything you send, at any speed, at a USPS facility comes with a tracking number now. Nice! This would allow me to go on-line, type in my label number and track my clubs to confirm that they reached their destination a week later\u2014which should have been last Friday.<\/p>\n

This is where things . . . pivot, as they say now. Trusting the U.S. government as much as I trust every large bureaucratic organization in the world and having just sent a quarterly income tax check to the U.S. Treasury to help keep the whole operation running smoothly, I crossed my fingers that my clubs were in good hands. On Monday, my son said, \u201cThat little box you sent arrived.\u201d That other, minor shipment reminded me that I hadn\u2019t heard from him on Friday about the clubs. \u201cHave the clubs gotten there yet?\u201d No. No sign of them. Hm.<\/p>\n

So, on June 23, I went online and looked at my tracking information. Here\u2019s what I found:<\/p>\n

June 14, 10:53 a.m. Acceptance<\/p>\n

June 14, 1:48 p.m. Dispatched to sort facility<\/p>\n

June 20, 8:32 a.m. Arrival at Post Office, Los Angeles<\/p>\n

June 20, 8:50 a.m. Sorting Complete<\/p>\n

June 20, 9:00 a.m. Out for delivery<\/p>\n

June 20, 11 p.m. Delivery status not updated. Expected delivery: June 21<\/p>\n

I found it interesting that they continued to expect my clubs to be delivered on the 21st when the 23rd had already arrived. And thus the trail went cold. They had been loaded onto a truck and then seem to have disappeared. No updates were added on Friday. Nothing like, \u201cDon\u2019t sweat it, we\u2019re slapping a new and bigger address on the side just to make sure our driver who delivers to Seismic every day of the week will remember to unload the clubs when he drops off the rest of the mail there.\u201d I forget things all the time. I\u2019m sympathetic. I\u2019m forgiving. But, yet again, no status update on Monday morning. So I called the 800 number and reached someone pleasant who said, \u201cApparently the zip code was wrong.\u201d That\u2019s all. So I said, \u201cSo it will be delivered today or tomorrow?\u201d She said. \u201cYes, today or tomorrow.\u201d I said, \u201cAs long as it\u2019s sometime this week.\u201d She laughed. I didn\u2019t. I smiled nervously and hung up.<\/p>\n

Tuesday morning arrived. Still no word from Matthew that the clubs had arrived. No updates on the tracking page. I go back to the USPS home page and find a field for submitting problems, with a promise that the Postal Service will get back to me in 24 hours. I type in all the information including the label # and trust that I will hear back a day later. Meanwhile, I start making phone calls. I call the 800-number again and get an equally pleasant employee who works hard to figure out what\u2019s happened. She goes away from the phone and comes back, and says she\u2019ll have to get back to me. I say, \u201cCan you give me an idea what facility the clubs arrived at in L.A.?\u201d At first she tells me it\u2019s the Sunset station, which is a third of a mile away from Matthew\u2019s office. No, wait. It\u2019s the one on Wilcox, about a mile away. \u201cThere was some confusion about whether the zip ended with 28 or 38, and the Wilcox station delivers to both codes, so it\u2019s there.\u201d (So why was Sunset every in consideration here? Just asking.) She gives me the facility\u2019s phone number. I dial it twice and let it ring for five to ten minutes. No answer. (Then I realize they haven\u2019t opened their doors yet. I check Yelp and many customers say the people at Wilcox are helpful and diligent and personable but they never answer their phone.\u00a0Oh Godot<\/i>, as a friend of mine, also a painter, likes to say. ) I do more research and decide to check the Sunset station, just in case. A pleasant woman answers, and I tell her my story and she says, \u201cWe open in ten minutes, could you call back then?\u201d Sure. I wait fifteen minutes, just to make sure they have time to open up, and then I call back, and a male worker tells me my clubs have to be at the Wilcox facility because that one delivers to both of those codes and Sunset delivers to neither.\u00a0 \u201cBut they never answer their phone,\u201d I say. He chuckles and says, \u201cI can\u2019t help you there, my friend.\u201d I ask, \u201cDo you have an email for anybody there?\u201d He chuckles again. Enough said. So I dial the Wilcox station again and, behold, someone answers. Yelp was\u00a0wrong<\/i>. \u201cHi, I\u2019m Maria, how can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n

I tell her my story and she sympathizes, and goes online. She sees what information is available and then goes away from the phone for probably ten minutes, but I don\u2019t hang up. I can hear sounds of what might be sorting. Something reassuringly industrial and business-like and orderly and reliable. That\u2019s how I want it to sound, so that\u2019s what I hear. I have an image of my new advocate, Maria, walking around, wide-eyed, puzzled, in a cavernous warehouse, like the one where they put the Ark of the Covenant, at the end of\u00a0Raiders<\/i>. I imagine her walking down a quarter mile of dusty boxes and crates, an enormous dead letter office expanded into a structure as large as five BJ\u2019s Warehouses. I imagine echoing footsteps and dim incandescent lamps hanging from the cobwebby beams high overhead. Finally she returns and says, \u201cI\u2019m going to have to locate the driver and look into this. Can I have your number and your name?\u201d I give her both and spend the rest of the day working, yet jumping up to check Caller ID every time the phone rings, though I\u2019m disappointed every time. After dinner, I resign myself to failure and say to Nancy, \u201cI\u2019m just going to rent clubs if they don\u2019t show up. I\u2019m not going to let this spoil the week.\u201d Having resolved to spend whatever it takes to just play some golf, I sleep pretty well, but wake up around 1:30 a.m. and can\u2019t fall back asleep. So I get up and post on Facebook some life advice for Edward Snowden from The Onion which cracks me up\u2014\u201cTry hiding in a backyard boat, maybe.\u201d\u2014 and then realize my son is also up, since it\u2019s three hours earlier in L.A. He\u2019s just sent me an email asking for my mailing label number. He\u2019s going to stop at the Wilcox facility on his way to work and ask about the clubs.<\/p>\n

I write: \u201cTell them there\u2019s no way they can miss it. The clubs are in a hard black plastic case with buckles and a handle, not a box. And wheels. It has wheels. It isn\u2019t something you wouldn\u2019t notice just sitting around. I\u2019d hate to lose the clubs, but I don\u2019t have the time to play that much anymore so I\u2019m just going to quit worrying about it.”<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ll turn up eventually. Maybe not in time for Palm Springs,\u201d he writes.<\/p>\n

I recounted all this to a couple friends who speculated on what might have happened to the clubs. Walt wrote: \u201cDEA opened them up because they fit the drug shipment profile. \u00a0Put them in the Evidence Locker. \u00a0Then the DEA Head of Station remembered that his brother-in-law is taking up golf so to get in good with his wife he passed your clubs on to him, with a wink.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wrote: \u201cI imagine someone saying, \u2018We\u2019re going to have to cut each of those golf balls in half to check for, well, you-know-what. \u2018 Couldn\u2019t I just call the NSA and ask them to mine their data to determine where the clubs have been making phone calls and sending emails?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Hank offered a comforting thought: \u201cBut obviously they\u2019re in a better place and may be happier than when they were with you, Dave.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hank, it isn\u2019t as if they\u00a0died<\/i>. They went missing. But he may be right. They could be happier in the hands of someone with a lower handicap. I wrote: \u201cThey may have simply run away.”<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was an abusive relationship,\u201d Hank said. Boy, does he know my game.<\/p>\n

So yesterday morning, Matthew showed up at Wilcox and went to the counter and said he\u2019d come see if they had a package that hadn\u2019t been delivered.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo stand over there by the door,\u201d the woman said, without asking for any further information.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you want the . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust stand over there by the door.\u201d<\/p>\n

So he went over and stood in the corner. For about ten minutes. Finally, a man strolled past the closed door and Matt said, \u201cIs somebody going to help or should I just keep standing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

The guy stopped and stared at him. Just stared. Matthew shrugged and asked again, \u201cAm I supposed to do something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid someone help you?\u201d the fellow asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe did,\u201d Matthew said, pointing toward the woman at the desk.<\/p>\n

At this point, the woman perked up and watched as they talked. Now she was interested.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo back and get her to straighten this out,\u201d he said, so Matt moved toward the back of the line, again. \u201cNo. Go right over to her, don\u2019t get in line.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finally, a supervisor. Someone who actually cared about a customer. He stared a lot without talking, granted, but at some point, he indicated an actual interest in the people he was employed to serve.<\/p>\n

So Matthew walks back to the counter.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you get a notice? Do you have the slip?\u201d she asks now, though this didn\u2019t come up the first time around. \u00a0\u201cDid they leave you a note?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I don\u2019t have anything. I have a number. Here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me check,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Shortly, she reappears, lugging the large plastic shell.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, that\u2019s it,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been looking at that, just sitting back there, for days, wondering where that was supposed to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

About an hour later, I got an email notice from the post office. \u201cDelivered.\u201d That\u2019s all. Yes, it was delivered if delivered can be construed to mean: \u201cIf you had paid more we might have actually brought the package to its recipient as promised, but he has it now, which is the result you wanted.\u201d And a few hours later, when I was in Buffalo at the Parquet Courts concert, Nancy got a phone call from the local post office, \u201cI just wanted him to know his package has been delivered.\u201d Translation: the clubs went out for delivery on the 20th<\/sup>, and they were\u00a0handed to their recipient<\/i>\u00a0on the 26th<\/sup>.<\/p>\n

Before the concert began\u2014and it was fierce and precise, one of the best hours of music I\u2019ve heard in years, proof that human beings can deliver phenomenal customer satisfaction when their hearts are completely invested in their work\u2014my friend Andres and\u00a0his<\/i>\u00a0friend, Jerry, a philosophy professor, were joking about how maybe we could save the national economy by nationalizing the celebrity industry. I thought, \u201cGo ahead. You will never see Paris Hilton again. She\u2019ll be sitting in a green room somewhere and no one will be able to track her down.\u201d So, hey, there\u2019s an upside to everything.<\/p>\n

So, fellow painters, don\u2019t try to save $30 when shipping something you really care about. Do not ever, EVER spurn UPS, who is your faithful and diligent partner and will get your work to its destination on time. UPS, I want to apologize. I will never stray again. The folks at the Post Office are as nice as can be, and they have instituted tracking, which is an excellent improvement, but let me tell you, between you and me, it\u2019s an invitation to despair if you keep checking it. Choose the Post Office if you like, but with USPS, pretty clearly, you may find yourself employed by them, not the other way around.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Represent\u00a0is about the painting life. It says so up there on the banner. As of today, it\u2019s also about shipping, which is a crucial part of the painting life (if you care to show your work to other people in a public way.) Mostly, over the past two years, I\u2019ve been writing about the painting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[77,79,78,74,76,75,73],"class_list":["post-3101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-art-shipment","tag-bureaucracy","tag-customer-satisfaction","tag-parquet-courts","tag-shipping","tag-ups","tag-usps"],"yoast_head":"\nPost haste - represent<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Post haste - represent\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Represent\u00a0is about the painting life. It says so up there on the banner. As of today, it\u2019s also about shipping, which is a crucial part of the painting life (if you care to show your work to other people in a public way.) Mostly, over the past two years, I\u2019ve been writing about the painting […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"represent\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-27T12:24:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-06-27T21:04:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/parquet.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"dave dorsey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"dave dorsey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"13 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"dave dorsey\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/5f1b414f169df69053f04f66b929fd57\"},\"headline\":\"Post haste\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-27T12:24:07+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-06-27T21:04:21+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101\"},\"wordCount\":2626,\"commentCount\":2,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/06\\\/parquet.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"art shipment\",\"bureaucracy\",\"customer satisfaction\",\"Parquet Courts\",\"shipping\",\"UPS\",\"USPS\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101\",\"name\":\"Post haste - represent\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/06\\\/parquet.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-27T12:24:07+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-06-27T21:04:21+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/5f1b414f169df69053f04f66b929fd57\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/06\\\/parquet.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/06\\\/parquet.jpg\",\"width\":720,\"height\":665,\"caption\":\"Parquet Courts delivered. Sadly, the Post Office didn't.\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?p=3101#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Post haste\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"represent\",\"description\":\"the painting life\",\"alternateName\":\"the dorsey post\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/5f1b414f169df69053f04f66b929fd57\",\"name\":\"dave dorsey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1b459062818b38ed5bb3f68365bc2557f760412a5db1278493176a6a45bb1c8f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1b459062818b38ed5bb3f68365bc2557f760412a5db1278493176a6a45bb1c8f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/1b459062818b38ed5bb3f68365bc2557f760412a5db1278493176a6a45bb1c8f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"dave dorsey\"},\"description\":\"I'm a painter living in Pittsford, NY. I've authored two books and also work as a ghostwriter. I sell my work through Oxford Gallery, and have exhibited around the U.S. and internationally.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/www.daviddorsey.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/thedorseypost.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Post haste - represent","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Post haste - represent","og_description":"Represent\u00a0is about the painting life. It says so up there on the banner. As of today, it\u2019s also about shipping, which is a crucial part of the painting life (if you care to show your work to other people in a public way.) Mostly, over the past two years, I\u2019ve been writing about the painting […]","og_url":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101","og_site_name":"represent","article_published_time":"2013-06-27T12:24:07+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-06-27T21:04:21+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/parquet.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"dave dorsey","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"dave dorsey","Est. reading time":"13 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101"},"author":{"name":"dave dorsey","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5f1b414f169df69053f04f66b929fd57"},"headline":"Post haste","datePublished":"2013-06-27T12:24:07+00:00","dateModified":"2013-06-27T21:04:21+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101"},"wordCount":2626,"commentCount":2,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/parquet.jpg","keywords":["art shipment","bureaucracy","customer satisfaction","Parquet Courts","shipping","UPS","USPS"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101","url":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101","name":"Post haste - represent","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/parquet.jpg","datePublished":"2013-06-27T12:24:07+00:00","dateModified":"2013-06-27T21:04:21+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5f1b414f169df69053f04f66b929fd57"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/parquet.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/parquet.jpg","width":720,"height":665,"caption":"Parquet Courts delivered. Sadly, the Post Office didn't."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?p=3101#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Post haste"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/","name":"represent","description":"the painting life","alternateName":"the dorsey post","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5f1b414f169df69053f04f66b929fd57","name":"dave dorsey","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1b459062818b38ed5bb3f68365bc2557f760412a5db1278493176a6a45bb1c8f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1b459062818b38ed5bb3f68365bc2557f760412a5db1278493176a6a45bb1c8f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1b459062818b38ed5bb3f68365bc2557f760412a5db1278493176a6a45bb1c8f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"dave dorsey"},"description":"I'm a painter living in Pittsford, NY. I've authored two books and also work as a ghostwriter. I sell my work through Oxford Gallery, and have exhibited around the U.S. and internationally.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.daviddorsey.com"],"url":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3101"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3112,"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101\/revisions\/3112"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedorseypost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}